Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
