He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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