He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
me + whiskey = a bad person
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
