shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
