ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
