hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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