do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
