you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
MIDGETS
????
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
