I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
