sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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