I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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