I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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