I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
