I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
