Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We left an ass print on the piano.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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