Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
