Me too!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
