never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
