In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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