I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He did a backflip because drugs
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
