just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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