No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he fucked my hip out of place.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
