Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dignity is for republicans.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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