I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
