imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
