GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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