final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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