So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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