So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
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Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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