i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize