I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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