Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
