PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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