Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
