I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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