I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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