ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
