if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
