i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
