I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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