The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
