Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
