Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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