My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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