Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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