It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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