You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My breasts were aching with rage.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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