I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Houston, we have a squirter
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
