God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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