Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
