woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is the high leading the old right now
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
