Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize