I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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