I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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