I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
