Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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