she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
