Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
