their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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