hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
