What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
