im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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