I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
